i am feeling damn terrible now .
mixed feeling .
i am real tired alr .
i can't get to sleep at all .
kept thinking that i am damn selfish .
dammit , i'm feeling confused .
once i close my eye and tried to sleep , everything started running again .
it's hard to slow it down or to stop it .
i don't know what to do already .
why won't you all scold me ?
i got lots to say but i couldn't express it out .
hinding all really bring lots of suffering .
i had enough already !
seriously i don't know what am i thinking actually .
i'm breaking down .
have been controlling my mood this few days and putting on a smile .
pretending nothing had happened but it's useless .
i need someone to talk to .
imissyou , you always the one who i talked to in the past .
you always the one who make me smile and cheerup .
you would be there when i needed you .
and i found out that i rely on you too much .
till now , you were always the first i thought of whenever i am feeling down .
i kept telling myself everything's over but no matter what i would start thinking again .
why can't just everything disappear from my mind !?
i am just ruining myself to make me happy .
and i gonna stop myself all this for ruining myself !
i wan a real smile and happiness and not a fake smile anymore .
i am not going to touch all those stuffs again .
i am not going do all those stupid things already .
i wanna change , to the better one of cause .

and yeah , what's the meaning beind this word sister ?
i can say this word was never in my dictionary at all .
i found out that friends are always so fake .
nobody gain trust easily .
whenever there's trouble , friends would be be there first .
this sentence was never true .
because they were only be there for awhile and gone forever .
they are just junks .
and what is left is only memories .
if you din cherish , it would be gone for all .

If only i know , i wouldn't bring her along with me .
If only i know this would happen , that night i would not go over .
If only i know , i won't sent you all those stupid text .
If only i know , i should knew that you was already the best .
If only ... it won't end up this way .

SillyMe , stop regreting what you have done and look forward !
Believe youself it will end soooooon .
They're just rubbish !

i realised that i am just a fool .
all this while i was totally wrong .
what gonna happen tomorrow or later on ?
nobody knows .
why are people having hatred in them and having others to know that you would hate them ?
this is all craps i swear .
after today , i am going to change my life !
what had happen had already happened .
face it and serve it .
i pray hard that she would be alright and this gonna be the last time i promise .

people , if you are unhappy with me come straight to me uh .
No point talking behind my back (:
And for you , if you wanna believe those craps is up to you .

现在的你根本不想认识我对吧 ，你有想过要告诉我理由吗？
那你又有想过要问我为什么吗？